The Next Chapter

Rarely do we know when one chapter of our life ends and another begins. On those occasions where we can feel the tides change, go out and catch the wave.

I have been trying to catch that wave for a while, and I am finally riding it smoothly. I am blessed to know to this is indeed a new chapter of my life. Last year, I graduated with my Master’s Degree. I also started a long-held dream of having a full-time clarinet studio, not to mention that I finally made the dive in the deep end of the pool in my other passion of fitness. So to say that “it’s all happening” in my life right now would be an understatement.

How else do I know this is a new chapter? Because I can see the fear and doubt I have engraved for many years are starting to become a distant memory.

I’m not a quitter by any stretch of the word, but I do have fear and doubt constantly trying to make me go off course. It’s happened plenty of times. I’ve gotten off track in many journeys. But only on rare occasions have I ever given up.

This time is different. It is with bated breath I say that fear and doubt haven't woken me up in the middle of the night and told me I’m not good enough to do this. That “noise,” as I call it, has the volume turned down to a virtual 0.

It’s taken a long time to quiet fear and doubt this much. A LONG TIME. As in over a decade. In fact, it wasn’t until college that I realized that I wasn’t supposed to be hearing them all the time, constantly knocking me down. It was a silver lining that taught me that, one of the many silver linings that my father’s death has bestowed upon me.

Do you hear them, fear and doubt? You’ll know they’re there when hear things like, “You’re not good enough,” or “That’s too hard,” or even the classic “But it has to be perfect, otherwise there’s no use in doing it.” One of keys for me to get them to shut down is by stopping, taking a few deep breaths, then having a personal mantra ready to use. It’s more or less a short form of meditation. I am not a master at meditation by any means, but the stillness of a minute can happen if you work on it little by little.

These past two days, fear and doubt haven’t entered my mind about conquering my fitness project. Yesterday was Sweat Intervals for Insanity Max:30 and Sculpt A from P90.

Let’s talk Sweat Intervals first. Um … there was A LOT of sweat involved. Shaun T really put the “sweat” in sweat intervals! I maxed out at 16:45. This is a basic Insanity-like cardio exercise that are set up in intervals … shocking description, I know. Some exercises like squat lunges, power jumps, jump and cross twists will push you to your limits. Add this workout to another one of the hard cardio challenges that Shaun T offers in this program. But this isn’t about exercise, it’s about your life. Keep moving, keep pushing.

Next up was P90 Sculpt A. Hey, I had the door attachment today!!! I bought it for $8 off Amazon and had it in time for this workout (My heart goes out to the delivery men who are braving this weather to deliver things like my resistance band door attachment). 

The one move that I noticed a difference with the resistance bands versus the weights I used the first time was the tricep pulldowns … ow! My triceps were on fire (sang in Alicia Keys’ voice)!!!

Today’s workout were a repeat from Tuesday, Tabata Power and Sweat A.

Tabata Power: I. will. conquer. power. jumps.

Seriously, the amount of expletives that go through my mind the last three seconds of each exercise should be illegal. But I get through it and get it done!!!

Sweat A: STELLA!!!! I love you, Tony Horton. I also love Tony’s “H” tape on the floor. It’s good for form and helps with speed-like drills.

Ab Ripper A: I added this today because I forgot it on Tuesday (oops!!).  It’s a little over 8 minutes long and my abs will feel it tomorrow. That Plantain roller got my abs shaking. This is the “hardest” workout so far in P90 for me. Glad it’s short :-)

It would have been easy to not do these workouts. It was like the North Pole outside both days (school was even cancelled!) and fear and doubt could have popped into my mind in these ways:

“Hey, no school today, so you should enjoy this day! You don’t have to workout!!!”
“This Insanity Max:30 is too hard. You’re really going to keep doing this???”

“This P90 is really easy. You’re really going to keep doing this???”

See, when you write out what fear and doubt are telling you, it becomes a hilarious reel of craziness.

I’m so glad for this next chapter in my life. It’s unwritten, but that’s the most beautiful part. (Cue Natasha Bedingfield song ...)